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22nd July 2025
The impact of dementia on family members & carers
Blog
What to do if someone with dementia is refusing to go into a care home
5 minute read
Moving a loved one with dementia into a care home can be a difficult process. It can be a very emotionally charged time, and even though it may be the right thing to do, it can be met with reluctance. 72% of people over 75 years old reject the idea of moving into a care home. This is compared to 47% in 2014. In this article we’ll explore reasons why a person may refuse to move to a care home and provide helpful tools and advice.
What are the main reasons for someone not wanting to go into a care home?
There can be all sorts of reasons why someone might be reluctant to move into a care home. Here are the three main reasons:
Misconceptions and fears about care homes
For a while, the media have portrayed care home life in a negative light - places of loneliness or where people go to die. These fears may be compounded and reinforced by others sharing their experience. Many people can have deep worries about the type of people who will be supporting them. Will I trust them? Will they treat me well? Even though care home workers are well-trained and compassionate people, they can still instil fear in many.
Emotional attachment to the family home
Leaving your family home can be a very emotional time. Spending years creating a life filled with sentimental value, memories and a support network. Having to move on from this chapter of your life can evoke feelings of grief, loss and disconnection from your past and identity. Adapting to a new life where you're in new accommodation, meeting new people and having to have new routines can all be overwhelming for some, especially for people with dementia who may find it difficult to grasp what is going on. It’s common for a person living with dementia to refuse to go into a care home as they are more likely to find peace and comfort in familiar surroundings.
Worries about losing independence
For many older adults, independence is closely tied to their identity, self-worth, and dignity. Moving into a care home can be distressing for some, as, unfortunately, it does have a stigma attached to it. The idea that they have been capable for the majority of their lives, and coming to accept that they need support from people, especially for intimate support, such as help going to the toilet, can be stressful for some as it feels like key aspects are being controlled.
Confusion and anxiety
Moving into an unfamiliar environment isn’t so simple. Changes in routine, and changes in safety and comfort levels can all be disrupted. Little preparation physically and mentally before you move, can heighten confusion and anxiety, making the transition seem even more scary.
Tips for moving someone with dementia into a care home
We understand that moving into a care home can be full of a range of emotions. The start of a new chapter, the unknown can sometimes feel this way. However, these are typically short-lived, and the benefits of moving to a care home outweigh the downsides. We’ll explore some tips which will help ease you in the moving process and the
Talk about care homes in a positive way
Having conversations can make all the difference. Moving into a care home is another chapter of your life, where you are supported to continue leading a meaningful life for as long as possible. It's not uncommon for elderly people to overlook this, so ensure you are asking questions and bringing up exciting points such as:
- Round-the-clock support
- An opportunity to make new friends
- Activities they love or would like to get involved in
Give 'care homes' a positive spin
The word ‘care home’ can bring about lots of mixed feelings. Perhaps you could refer to a care home with a different term that has a more positive spin on it. Incorporating words such as ‘new community’ or ‘new home’ can be considered a more positive and engaging term than care home. New community suggests a sense of belonging, togetherness and shared experiences – key elements that reflect a positive and fulfilling living space. Sometimes the word ‘care home’ can be seen as clinical.
Keep your loved one involved and informed about the care home choices
Make sure you have regular open communication and set out care home choices alongside your loved one. Involving them from start to finish is key to avoiding them feeling isolated and unable to make choices. Lead with kindness and let them know the goal is to support their well-being and safety.
How can I see what a care home is like?
It could be that a short taster stay may help reduce any anxiety about moving into a care home. Opting for a respite stay offers people the chance to experience what life is like and can help prepare them mentally and physically before choosing a long-term stay.
Family and friends can help talk about moving to a care home
It’s important that you take an active role in the process when you are moving someone to a care home. People will appreciate it when you provide them with information and answer any questions they may have around care home life, so ensure you are not avoiding this so you can support them in the best way possible. Making them feel that you’re both included and invested in the process can help them feel more confident during their moving journey.
Ways to ease the transition into a care home
Here are ways that can help you have a smooth transition into a care home:
Understanding your loved one's mental capacity and right to choose and make choices about their care
Mental capacity, consent and choice are critical in the care sector. These factors work together, hand in hand, to help people retain their independence while receiving the care best suited to them. Some people may lack the capacity to decide at a given time. They might be able to decide what clothes to wear, but have great difficulty choosing their care. If someone does find it difficult, do opt for decisions in their best interests. Consider the options that are the least restrictive to the person's rights and freedom.
Seek professional help
Professional support can significantly help the transition into a care home. Many organisations offer free support and advice.
Do I have any legal options to help someone into a care home?
In some cases, people may not have the mental capacity to decide on going into a care home. This could be due to them having later-stage dementia, a health issue, or a disability. Legal options are available—if you’ve been appointed as a lasting power of attorney for health and welfare, you can make this decision to help someone into a care home. This should be handled carefully and with a solicitor.
Support for families of reluctant relatives
Here in our homes, we support people to live meaningful and purposeful lives every day. We know there’s lots to consider throughout this new journey, and we’ll always be here to support your loved one moving into one of our dementia care homes. We also encourage family and friends to play an active role in their loved one's care, which we achieve through great communication.
