Communicating with a person with dementia

4 minute read

If you’re caring for someone with dementia, you may already know that it presents unique challenges. It requires more thought, patience and empathy. Cognitive ability starts to deteriorate, meaning you have to take a different approach to communicate effectively. Whilst communicating with a person with dementia, they can experience unpleasant episodes of forgetting who you are, trouble finding the words or understanding what you said, causing them to become upset or confused. Remember, it's not their fault, it’s the illness. In this article, we’ll explore the best ways of communicating with patients with dementia and effective non-verbal communications.

Tips on communicating with someone with dementia

Make sure you’re leading from a place of compassion and kindness when communicating with a person with dementia. It's not about using the perfect vocabulary but how you make them feel.

Slower communication

As the ability to process information decreases, talking to people with dementia at your normal pace can cause confusion. You need to give them more time to process what you’ve just said, so ensure you are talking slower. As well as this, this increases the likelihood that a person with dementia will respond and keep the conversation flowing.

Remember they aren't a child

It's important to avoid infantilising the person with dementia. Unfortunately, some people can tend to speak with dementia as if they are a child. Because of their reduced cognitive ability, some people may view people with dementia as somewhat similar to children and therefore treat them in a similar manner. This can include speaking to them in a higher-pitched voice. People with dementia are in a completely different life stage from children, so it's crucial to make sure you are taking them seriously and maintaining respect.

Communicate in a conversational way

Speak to them as you’d with anyone else. Limit the constant questioning – we probably all know how frustrating and tiring it can be when people ask us endless questions rather than conversing with us. It's natural to want to ask lots of questions to check up on their well-being and how things are going. People with dementia may struggle to answer many questions, which can result in them not responding or reacting unpleasantly.

Include and encourage participation in conversations

Avoid ignoring the person with dementia. Just because they have difficulty communicating doesn’t mean they should be excluded, or that you think they may not want to participate. They might understand more than you give them credit for, so encourage participation in conversations. Sometimes it's natural to assume they may not understand, but try not to think this way, and if you do have a question, ask the individual first and give them a chance to respond.

Try not to speak for them

Support people with dementia in expressing themselves. You can create a more positive and supportive communication experience with them by giving them space to feel understood, heard, and respected. Try not to interrupt and give them ample time to reply, unless absolutely necessary. This is especially important in medical situations, it facilitates better communication, leading to more effective medical care and maintaining their overall well-being.

Non-verbal communication

Communication isn’t just speaking. Use non-verbal communications naturally, such as touch, gestures, and facial expressions, to help convey your message more effectively. For example, you might be in a situation where you’ll need to use picture cards for mealtimes, allowing you to easily point to a meal so they can process the message better. Many might appreciate a gentle touch while you are speaking, as it can bring them a sense of comfort. Being aware of how someone responds to touch is important.

Keep calm and carry on

It's inevitable to experience a day when a person with dementia will say the same thing over and over again. Even if you do get frustrated, do make sure you keep calm and respond naturally and with kindness. Expressing any anger towards them usually does more harm than good. A genuine smile can reduce the likelihood of challenging behaviours since it conveys that you are glad to be in their company and provides them with comfort.

Comfort is a key factor in communication

Create a calm and comfortable environment—essential elements in communicating with someone with dementia. Being in higher sensory environments, such as loud places, bright lights, or strong smells, can cause a person to experience sensory overload and potentially exhibit adverse physical or behavioural reactions. Not only this, but also ensuring their needs are met during the day facilitates better communication. For example, if they are hungry, it will be harder for them to communicate, as they will be focusing elsewhere.

Listening is just as important

Offer encouragement by making eye contact and nodding when communicating with people with dementia - it shows you are engaged and actively listening. Make sure you give them a chance to speak and take time to reply, in case they eventually finish what they are saying. Coupled with this, observe their body language, as it can often reveal their emotions – it can provide you with signals about how they are feeling, without the need for verbal communication.

What to expect when talking to people with dementia

Talk about good and bad days, and taking one day at a time, making the most of a good day and reassuring them that everything is fine. Avoid conversations that involve: trying to jog the person’s memory, as this can seem as if you are testing them and may highlight the notion that they do have memory problems. Correcting something they believe in may also be distressing for the person with dementia – they’ll find it difficult to accept logic, and it's not always possible to tell them what they believe in is invalid.

How to maintain communication in the future

It’s important that a person with dementia has regular check-ups for their hearing and sight. Although these tests may be challenging for someone with dementia, they can identify and help manage potential issues that can influence their quality of life and how they communicate. Start by speaking to your GP, who should refer you to an audiology team.

Further help

We’ve provided some helpful resources to help support you in communicating with people with dementia, as well as day-to-day help and advice:

How do you communicate with a person with dementia